Am I to understand that there is no pure friendship between gay men? If I offered someone a place to stay when they are drunk or anything, that there is an automatic retribution in sexual favors?Sometimes I really don't want to have sex. I am still hung up on the last guy who was here. Note this, I am not someone who sleeps around. The number of men I've slept with within the last 10 years could be counted by all the fingers in one hand.
Lately a friend came for a visit. In the middle of the night I noticed him wedging towards me on my bed. I know it's stupid to sleep in the same bed with someone especially if you just met the person, but I tried putting him on the couch, but he wanted to sleep in bed and practically dragged me in the bed with him despite the fact that I made a floor bed for myself using my blankets.
I felt his hands feeling up on me. Maybe it's the loneliness, maybe I am doing it out of spite, but when he kissed, I kissed back. Of course, things got out of hand at the time. In the middle of the kiss, I realized I didn't want to do it anymore, but out of courtesy I kept going. Sure, the body felt good, but the mind is wishing he were someone else...
Does this kind of thing happen often? Is it normal? I feel dirty........
6 comments:
It's happened to me once. It's very strange but I do not remember any details about the sex. Probably I, like you, was mentally somewhere else, thinking of someone else. I do believe there can be friendship between gay men that does not involve any sexual tension but that's probably only when there is no physical attraction.
GBD xxx
I use to think this were true.. but I'm no longer sure. At one point or the other.. sex always springs about. But I think in theory it is feasible for gay guys to be friends without sex being an issue.
I think its normal and can't see why you'd feel dirty... there is solace in someone arms... But why didn't you just stop, out of courtesy sounds like a feeble reason.. you should have stopped I think... but who knows it might help you move on...
I empathize with you! I long for a guy to just share some intimate (non-sexual) moments with, but it seems impossible. What's wrong with just sharing presence? Even a light kiss without the need to fight the guy off after? My ideal of a gay friend? Someone I can talk my soul out to; lose myself in an embrace with; yet walk away without feeling guilty I didn't allow him to physically possess me.
sex actually is one staff either purely sweet or purely dirty on the planet.it is either hated or loved no matter how it happens. you can enjoy it if you are delighted or you can refuse it because of its dirtiness. have fun and take care.
Reading your blog helped me. Thank you.
Hello. And Bye.
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