Weather induced depression

It's true and it's real. Fall and winter comes along and somehow this is the season when most people have light case of depression start showing symptoms. It's probably loneliness and isolation we feel during winter time due to the environmental change and the reduction of day hours.

The counselor asked me to start writing in a journal of what would come up emotionally, though I really don't see a point since I already blog. However, I do find some points where I would like to bring up with him.

When I was about 3, my father used to go to Kendo tournaments and would take my mother, sis, and I along. There was this one time where it took place in a school or some sort and I was locked inside one of the classrooms. I was terrified of the dark then. Scared as I was, after a few minutes my eyes adjusted to the light and I started seeing this moving figure near a window. Then I blacked out. The next thing I remembered was the door was unlocked and I was able to come out. I am really curious about what the blacked out frame was and I really hope it wasn't something horrible.

Another point I want to bring up is I've been obsessing over getting a laptop since September of this year. Actually I've always wanted a laptop ever since I was able to build computers on my own when I was 14, but was never able to afford it. Lately, with the influx of extra dollars as well as friends around me all have laptops, I started looking into getting one. It was my past time for the last 3 months and last week I finally purchased one over the Internet. However, once I pushed the purchase button and the transaction was done there was a void at what used to take up my spare time. I no longer have anything else I am obsessing over and it feels a little empty.

There was another point I'd like to mention. A lot of my gay friends are talking about having children when they are older, and most of them don't see a way to do it except by renting someone's egg and womb. J asked me what I thought of it, and my reply was I don't want to have a biological child unless I am in love with that person. My reason for this is because I am not as conceited as to want to producing a biological being in the mirror image of myself. I think would like to have a child, but it's alright if I adopted. Some people feel that they need to have a biological child in order to love him or her, I feel like they wanted a pet. I mean, shouldn't people have children because they are in love and want to be parents? Usually the later doesn't manifest till the children are born, but that's the advantage for straight people.